Dealing with Possessions: Less is More
by Nancy Pritchard, June, 2009
© 2009, Nancy Pritchard, All Rights Reserved

Imagine a person who associates the acquisition of jewelry with pleasure. She loves it all - rings, necklaces, and bracelets. She has a large jewelry collection, but she never seems to wear much of it. Many of her pieces are crammed into the back of her bedroom drawers or stuffed into Ziploc baggies and lost in the bottom of her closet, where they'll probably never see the light of day again. The collection is far too sizable to be stored in her jewelry box, even though it's a large armoire-style jewelry box. The only time she is ever content with her jewelry collection is shortly before and after a new purchase. Buying jewelry gives her a short-lived thrill, and then the desire to acquire more returns, ruthlessly propelling her toward the next purchase.

Sound familiar? Even if jewelry is not your weakness, can you relate to the thrill of acquisition? Perhaps your passion is clothing, books, DVD's. Or what about the latest electronic gadgets?

Once upon a time, I was the above mentioned jewelry addict. Oh, I didn't have many expensive pieces, as I didn't really have the funds for that. But I was still happy with more, more, more of whatever I could afford.

What drives that need for acquisition?

"Bigger, better and more, more, more!" is the prominent message of today's advertising market. The job of an advertiser is to convince you that your happiness is tied to whatever he or she is promoting. Sadly, our materialistic society is about getting more and more stuff with no end in sight. And when does this cycle end? When will you have 'enough?' Most people never ask themselves this question, and so they keep buying more and more. Purchasing becomes a never ending cycle. Temporarily you might feel satisfied by your latest purchases (retail therapy), but soon that burning desire to buy something new resurfaces again. Your living spaces become overloaded with more clothing and jewelry and shoes…many of which you have stopped wearing because they don't fit any longer or they're out of style. Perhaps you can't even find many of your things because they're shoved into the bottom of your closet (right where mine used to be)!

We've all known children who are overloaded with toys. They own toy boxes filled to the brim with the latest and greatest toys (the product of doting grandparents, perhaps?) but often claim that they can't find anything to play with. It's no wonder! The poor kids are totally overwhelmed with excess! We might judge them as spoiled or ungrateful, but how is that situation any different than you and I looking into our overloaded closets and complaining that we have nothing to wear?   

Of course we all need a certain amount of essentials, clothing being a prime example. And what about luxury items like jewelry? Those items can be fun, right? Of course they can! But how much will we ever really wear? Most people don't even consider setting limits on this kind of purchase, but for our peace of mind and for our budget's sake, we might wish to think about doing so. My current jewelry box (which is far smaller than my previous jewelry armoire) is still full, but I now refuse to let it overflow. How do I stay within my limits? Whenever I buy a new pair of earrings, an old pair has to go. That one in-one out rule has become my decluttering mantra, and I highly recommend it for most personal items.

If your current possessions seem to own you, instead of the other way around, maybe it's time to ask yourself a few essential questions, such as:   

How much clothing do you really need? Do you need any more than three weeks worth of outfits per season? Then why do you own enough clothing to outfit five to ten women for a month? 

And speaking of clothing, must you hold onto those jeans that fit you 30 pounds ago? Does seeing them hanging in the closet make you feel any better about yourself, or do they seem to mock you as you choose an outfit each morning? And if you do manage to lose those 30 pounds again, don't you think you deserve a new pair of jeans? I certainly do.

Here's a common problem I hear about in many households. Are you still holding on to tax returns from 15 years ago? Twenty years ago? Twenty-five years ago? How about all the supporting paperwork? Many people are afraid of tossing any financial papers away. Can you guess how much paperwork you actually need to keep any longer than three years? With very few exceptions, NONE OF IT! If this is an area of concern for you, there are many websites that list paperwork you should keep on hand and for what length of time. 

Most of us have experienced the liberation of decluttering at some point in our lives. Have you ever thoroughly cleaned out your closet, tossing or donating items that no longer serve you? Do you remember that feeling of freedom after you completed the task, when you looked into your closet and saw only items that currently fit? Maybe you even saw a little empty space! In addition, you benefited others by donating the excess clothing to Goodwill, or the charity of your choice. What a tremendous feeling! In the future, consider purging your closet of unusable items on a regular basis, perhaps seasonally.

While you're considering tackling the closet, take a peek at your bookshelves. Why do many of us feel we must own every single book we read? Yes, some books are like good friends and should be purchased and kept for the long haul, but many are not that special. Most public libraries are wonderful facilities and checking out a book is still absolutely free. Considering the excess books on your shelves, I can tell you from personal experience that Frederick's library system appreciates all donations of 'reasonably used' books. Another option for dealing with your over abundance of books is to pass a book along to a good friend, which can be a rewarding experience for both of you.

Now if you're really feeling bold, move on to the shelves where you keep your old VHS tapes and DVDs. Haven't watched some of them in years, right? Then here's my friendly advice: recycle, recycle, recycle! Many people I know (myself included) have purchased a Netflix subscription over the past few years. Netflix is a wonderful system, as you rent DVDs instead of purchasing them. Your DVDs arrive in the mail, you watch them at your leisure, and then you mail them back to Netflix. This way, you won't have to create additional DVD shelf space in your home. Is Netflix more affordable than purchasing DVDs? You bet it is. Subscriptions start at $6.99 per month, and there are over 300,000 titles to chose from. 

Sometimes people worry that if they begin decluttering in earnest they'll miss all their old stuff. I can honestly say that I have NEVER talked to one 'downsizer' who was sorry that he or she had taken the plunge and tossed or donated all the excess baggage. Every one of them was pleased to be living with less.

So, instead of purchasing more and allowing our toy boxes to constantly overflow, we can become like the contented child with a limited number of play things. When we actually see and use everything we own, we appreciate our things all the more. And do remember that the most effective way to avoid future clutter is to follow the one in-one out rule. When something new comes in, a similar item must go.

So go ahead and donate that $10 canvas tote bag from Walmart that you just HAD to have last summer, but haven't used once. And what if you miss it terribly when it's gone?

I can promise you that Walmart will still be there tomorrow! J

Nancy Pritchard is the Facilitator for the monthly Tao Study Group, 'Living a Peaceful Life' at The Healing Way in Frederick, MD. The group is currently on hiatus for the Summer of 2009 and will resume in the fall. For more information about the group contact Nancy at npritchard@thehealingway.com or 301-696-8380. She is also a co-facilitator for ' The Gathering' which meets the third Thursday of each month. See the Calendar of Events for More details..

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© 2009, Nancy Pritchard, All Rights Reserved