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Cultivate Gratitude
by Nancy Pritchard, August 1, 2008
"Gratitude gladdens the heart. It is not sentimental, nor jealous, nor judgmental. As gratitude grows, it gives rise to joy. We experience the courage to rejoice in our own good fortune and in the good fortune of others.
Joy is natural to an open heart. In it, we are not afraid of pleasure. We do not mistakenly believe it is disloyal to the suffering of the world to honor the happiness we have been given.
Like gratitude, joy gladdens the heart. We can be joyful for people we love, for moments of goodness, for sunlight and trees and for the breath within our breast. And as our joy grows, we finally discover a happiness without cause. Like an innocent child who does not have to do anything to be happy, we can rejoice in life itself, in being alive."
*Excerpt from A Meditation on Gratitude and Joy from The Art of Forgiveness, Lovingkindness and Peace by Jack Kornfield
Being in a state of gratitude can completely transform one's disposition. The more we pause to consider the things we have to be grateful for, the more we begin to focus on those things. And the things we focus on, we tend to draw toward ourselves. Therefore, the act of focusing on our blessings tends to bring more blessings into our lives.
I invite you to test this assumption for yourself. You may wish to use the following practice - or create your own gratitude ritual. Continue your practice for at least 21 days, as that's how long many experts say it takes to develop a new habit. At the end of the three week time period, sit back and reflect. Are you feeling more gratitude throughout the course of your days? Are you starting to view your life in a more positive light?
The practice:
Choose any time of day (more than once a day if you're able) to practice gratitude. This short routine should only take about five minutes of your time.
While lying or sitting down, allow your breathing to slow and become steady. Pay attention to at least three full breaths.
Now record in your journal at least five things that you are grateful for.
As you record the items that you are grateful for, stop after each entry. Allow yourself a moment or two to really feel the gratitude. When we open our hearts to all the good fortune in our lives, negativity (temporarily, at least) will take a back seat. We begin to realize that despite the difficulties life may hand us, we are truly blessed.
My father was a master of the 'attitude of gratitude,' even though he never participated in a formal gratitude practice. He didn't have to. He was one of those fortunate people born a natural optimist. Most of us have to work at it!
Dad had plenty of reasons to complain; especially later in his life, as he lived for years with some rather debilitating medical conditions. But, he didn't spend much time feeling sorry for himself. In fact, he was one of the most optimistic people I've ever met. Dad always saw the silver lining behind every cloud (both literally and figuratively). Over the years, we made 40 plus beach vacations as a family, and any time we were cursed with a rain shower while at the shore, Dad could be seen pointing toward the sky and saying, "Hey! Do you see that bright spot? I believe the sun's trying to come out!"
As you might guess the sun did not always come out during those rainy days at the beach, yet Dad's optimism was contagious. Because of his 'sunny' disposition, our family would start to see the silver lining in our situation.
"Oh well," My sister would say, "At least we won't be getting a sun burn today."
"Hey, Grandma and Pappy!" My sons would exclaim, "It's still raining so mini-golf won't be too crowded. Do you want to play?"
Soon grandparents and grandchildren were heading off for a rousing game of putt-putt, and my husband would happily steal away to the local bookstore while my sister and I ran off explore a few of the local shops. The entire gang was enjoying our family beach vacation - sun or no sun.
We live in a world that can bring you down. We're all aware of that. You don't have to look far to find the negatives - just check out the headlines in the local newspaper or glance through any online news source. Not to mention the personal hardships we all face at some point in our lives as well -- medical issues, financial concerns, problems with our jobs, our spouses, our children…
Most of us are not natural optimists like Dad. But for the rest of us, it's amazing to see how a little spontaneous gratitude can help to lighten a gloomy attitude.
For example, it's quite dismal and overcast this morning as I write these words, and I'm facing a list of 'to do's' that's terribly daunting. My gas tank is nearly empty, meaning that I'll have to fill up before I run errands today, and the thought of the final tally at the gas pump is making me cringe. Both of my knees are sore from running outdoors this past weekend (exercising on pavement is not 'knee-friendly' once we reach a certain age), and from 100 miles away, my Mother is worriedly awaiting some important medical test results.
Now these are all very real concerns, but if I were to stay in this brooding 'head space' I doubt I'd be able to reap much joy from this day or share much joy with others, for that matter. Therefore, instead of spending the entire morning focusing on cares and worries, I'm making a conscious decision to spend my next few moments contemplating a few of my many blessings.
Such as…
The wonderful phone conversation I had with my dear sister last night.
The coffee in my cup, that seems to be extra dark & rich today.
My sons, still sleeping comfortably within the home we have the privilege of sharing
The very interesting-looking woodpecker that just came to rest on our back patio
My pet cat. She's just climbed onto the back of my chair and decided that instead of typing I should definitely be stroking her head right now…
My good fortune in being able to rearrange my schedule so that I'll be able to spend a few days at the end of the week with Mom, and…
Wait! What is that I see peeking out from behind that huge gray cloud up there? Well, what do you know? I do believe the sun is trying to come out!
Nancy Pritchard is the Facilitator for the monthly Tao Study Group, 'Living a Peaceful Life' at The Healing Way. The group meets the first Thursday of each month from 7 - 8 pm. For the date of the group's next meeting, see the online calendar of events.
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©2008, Nancy Pritchard
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